Not to be that guy, but (suicide pact edition)...

This headline at Reason caught my eye today:

D.C.'s So-Called Reopen Plan Is a Suicide Pact for the Restaurant Industry

No, it isnt.

Okay, maybe it is. Could be. Could be, the restaurants are in on it. Could be they've decided to end it all and have invited the government entities who wrote the plan to join them for an evening in a giant carbon-dioxide hookah where people sit right up next to each other without wearing gloves or masks and there's plenty of Kool-Aid for everybody.

Could be. Has to be. Otherwise, it's not a "suicide pact."

Now, before I go any further: okay, okay, I know, they didn't actually mean "suicide pact." They meant death sentence, or nail in the coffin lid, or horrible inconvenience, and their metaphor just kind of got away from them.

And, also: okay, okay, I know, I'm being that annoying guy who won't shut up about how the new decade starts in 2021, not 2020. Which is true.

Still. Come on, man. Professional writer, which I assume you are since you're writing headlines for Reason. "Suicide pact" means two or more people agreeing to willingly commit suicide. So unless the restaurants helped write the plan intending that it put them out of business, you've got to pick a different bit of phraseology.

I'm available for consulting, by the way. Very reasonable rates.